


If you want to be loved, be loveable

by Fargosis



Category: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Arcade can't believe the little weirdo of all people is who he has become tied to, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Internal Monologue, Longing, M/M, Relationship Development, Sexual Tension, Tony is the mob guy who always backs up the boss, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, sappy tomance, tony is kind of a big coward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29306670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fargosis/pseuds/Fargosis
Summary: The wasteland is not the ideal setting for any romance, and one would expect it to be as rare as rain. Rarer still when Arcade Gannon doesn't exactly fancy himself a people person either. Yet despite his name this scrappy courier insist they've weaseled their way into each other's hearts and Arcade finds it hard to disagreeSelf-indulgent non-linear anecdotes in the relationship between a FONV courier OC and Arcade Gannon.
Relationships: Male Courier/Arcade Gannon
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	If you want to be loved, be loveable

**Author's Note:**

> This is absolute self indulgence so maybe I'll write more maybe I won;t.

“You know you don’t have to tell everyone that I’m your boyfriend,” Arcade softly laughs, the embarrassment slowly fading. When he first met Tony he thought he was rugged, covered in dirt and dressed like someone from the cover of a pre-war cowboy novel. His bronze skin seemed to glow against his dark leather and his eyes were so clear---twin moons. Even in an instant Arcade felt confident he could understand Tony, how he felt, what he was thinking. What he wanted.

Well. He had been half right. If Tony’s shudders were open than Freeside had turned on the light, and that dark rugged exterior was a far cry from the man Arcade had come to love. He was smooth talking, but earnest and affectionate----downright enthusiastic as well. Maybe he picked that up from the Kings though, they always had a strange sort of optimism that Arcade couldn’t decide if he found it obnoxious or harmless. No matter what was asked of him, Tony couldn’t help but say yes, and whenever Arcade thought their task was questionable Tony would smirk and tell him

“That’s why I have you to look out for me and patch me up after,”

It didn’t take Arcade long to realize how nervous he was. While Arcade didn’t mind picking off any monsters that he spotted before Tony, once even the smallest of adversaries had been handled Tony made sure to check in with the medic.

“You didn’t get bit did you? How do you feel? Do you want a stimpack?” Tony liked to hold hands. Arcade was surprised how much he liked it. 

“Okay!” Tony smiled back. He didn’t ask a lot of questions. At first Arcade thought he might be slow or naïve, overly trusting, but soon realized that it was a side effect of his anxiety. Tony wasn’t a very large or strong man and he knew it, maybe was more aware of it than was healthy. Whoever was big, whoever was strong, whoever was smart, whoever was armed, whoever could prove a threat---Tony would do whatever they asked no questions. He seemed to both hope he could earn the protection of others by bending over backwards----without trusting that any person would. That even if every job, every favor hopefully got Tony closer and closer into the good graces of his employer---he was still always just one mistake away from abandonment if not betrayal. 

As sweet as it was it was equally concerning, if not burdensome. Arcade knew what type of man he was, and it had been why he agreed to this journey. He was a medic, it was his job to assist and help others. Tony didn’t always seem to want assistance as much as he wanted guidance, but the most Arcade was willing to give would be the reiteration that he was not a leader, he did not take this job because he wanted to guide or direct. That he had come along with Tony under the belief that he was capable of strong decision making. 

He was getting better about it though. 

Tony wasn’t a bad person, just nervous. He wasn’t a coward either, but he wasn’t independent. He hated to fall out of line, but he was getting better. Arcade was thankful that Tony had come to so close to Freeside, a town that upheld loyalty as one of its defining virtues. Bringing Rex back to King had been an entire scene. King hadn’t expected to get his beloved dog back, not after offering him up in a trade to assure the dog got the medical care he needed.

“I couldn’t take his dog, I mean it’s his  _ dog _ .” Tony told Arcade later. “I tried to tell him earlier but he wouldn’t listen, thought I wouldn’t help out without taking something in return. But he loves that dog, Rex is a good dog.”

“It was the right thing to do,” Arcade had agreed, surprised by the character of this wanderer. The denizens of Freeside may have been loyal but they weren’t often selfless. It was a dog eat dog world out there, and even if Tony was desperate to find the biggest dog to protect him, he wasn’t very hungry himself. Sure Tony assisted in some assassinations and had sticky fingers---but power meant nothing to him. He had no interest in underlings. He often treated others with respect----if not outright fear-driven groveling.

His respect was genuine. The first time Arcade had patched him up Tony had called him ‘sir’, ready to follow whatever instructions he was given.

“There’s nothing to it really, I’m used to this sort of thing,”

“I knew I kept you around for a reason,” Arcade’s cheeks had burnt under the sunset. For as much as he took care of Tony, Tony did his best to take care of him. After every few missions they both took better armor, better weapons. Even if Tony claimed he couldn’t understand laser technology---he would always ask Arcade about his ammo, about the maintenance.

“You’re a better shot than I am, so I want to do whatever I can to protect you---even if you can’t rely on my gun,”

Despite this, he insisted on cowboy hats for the two of them.

“It makes me feel tough….I think I look cool,”

“You do certainly pull it off well, I just don’t know how appropriate it is for a doctor,”

Tony almost always smiled when they talked---he attributed some of it to Freeside improving his mood in general since his incident----but he always smiled with Arcade, even if just with his eyes.

“Maybe not for those other doctors at the fort, but for a big sexy field doctor like yourself...I think the hat fits very nice,”

Arcade had gotten so used to nights alone, eating with the fort members and then going to the bunks. Yet nights with Tony were so comfortable he hardly had to adjust at all. Tony always cooked, and while Arcade had never fancied himself a vegetarian there was something wholesome about home-cooked, radiation-free food. Just another perk to traveling with a nervous man.

“Vegetable chili again?”

“Hope you don’t mind. Figure that the two of us already probably come into more radiation than is good for us---any for that matter...should avoid it when we can. Don’t trust the meat or canned stuff,”

Arcade remembered how surprised he had felt “N-no it’s no trouble at all I supposed I just hadn’t expected you to be so...thoughtful,”

That had earned a laugh from Tony. “I just try to do what I can and hope it makes up for what I can’t,” 

He was a good cook.

A good kisser too. 

Whenever they were in more civilized territory---when they walked slow without a gun in hand, Tony’s fingers would find their way around Arcade’s. At first Arcade assumed Tony was just a loudmouth flirt, looking for a doctor and happened to strike a chord of charm. Yet Tony never seemed to talk that way with anyone else. It was something Arcade thought about late at night, stirring in his stomach and keeping him awake in disbelief. Kissing became how Tony celebrated even the smallest victory. It….did wonders for Arcade’s morale. Easy to scan the horizon for mantises when a dead-ringer would earn him a quick peck and embrace. He would never say such a thing out loud. 

Whether they rented out a room or camped out on the road, Tony always slept with his head tucked under Arcade’s. Maybe they were meant for each other, two directionless softies who wandered into each other’s paths. As much as Arcade could go on about his role as a healer, how much he preferred diplomacy to violence---with his arms wrapped around Tony he felt like he could split Caesar in half if it meant keeping him safe.

The possible only exception had been when they took King’s stupid dog along to go see that surgeon. Of course the dog loved Tony. Who wouldn’t? But watching the two of them wrestle by the campfire Tony’s hands stroking Rex’s fur, Rex climbing up in his lap---over his stomach to protect him in his sleep. Tony calling him “Daddy’s good boy”....

Arcade Gannon did not like dogs, he decided.

They had only been separated a few times when they met. The Van Graffs had sent him off on some solo mission. Assassination wasn’t really his thing as a doctor, and lasers only 

made it worse. Rex had been acting up in Jacobstown and Arcade had to trek back to Freeside himself before Tony met up with him the next day Both times Tony had come running into the fort, tired and sweaty and just looking to throw his arms around Arcade. If Arcade didn’t have the size advantage he probably would’ve collapsed under him. It felt...nice to be missed. Tony almost always initiated and Arcade felt a little bad, if not for how eager Tony always seemed to do so, and the fact it worked on him. He never thought he was very good with people and didn’t like crowds much anyways, but Tony  _ always _ liked to be around him. He seemed to like people a lot but it had been made clear nearly a million times now that Arcade was his  _ favorite _ . For a man who seemed so eager to meet so many people and grow out his work network----that meant something. Even when up against the Legion, Tony was on his mind.

When Tony first showed up at the fort he had looked like any other drifter. The wasteland...did things to people, and as much as Arcade pretended to be above it---he knew it could do things to good people as well as the bad. It wasn’t something he judged, but something he tried to avoid. Tony was small, but then again Arcade was biased in that regard, and there were plenty of scrappers he wouldn’t want to cross right there in Freeside. Still, despite the gruff exterior, there was a charm to Tony----and the lure of the wasteland, of justice, of rugged sexual adventure---was hard to ignore

By their first true shoot out it was clear that Tony’s gruff exterior wasn’t even as deep as his skin.

“..What? Oh no I’m fine---besides, I thought I was supposed to be the doctor here”

“You sure? You don’t need a stimpack or bouffant seeds or---” Tony could never hide anything, from anybody. The crack in his voice and soft look in his eyes. Barely a scratch, Arcade had been too surprised and touched to even sarcastically suggest a deep cavity search. Of course looking back it would have been cruel. Despite the ever-going pissing contest of toughness out there, kindness was not something to be forgotten, to snuff out. So even when it seemed bizarre, whenever Tony would insist on his little check ups and preening rituals...Arcade let him. Slowly, over time, these practices lessened. Arcade had clearly been a more experienced fighter than Tony had been, but he wasn’t a slow learner. The more his confidence grew the more his confidence in his team grew, or perhaps more accurately---the more his confidence in their ability to protect each other grew. Rather than any sort of panic or cool down, any anxious checking, their latest shootout had ended in celebration. A few Legion soldiers ambushed them, and the men had come out together only lightly scratched. Arcade remembered the rush as the last mercenary fell, his adrenaline beginning to fall when Tony suddenly threw his arms around him. By now it was something Arcade was comfortable with---Tony’s whoops and hollers, his infectious laughter. Fights for survival were now fun feats of strength. 

They had shared brief stories of their past, Tony’s amnesia slowly fading. Turned out he was little by the standards of men other than Arcade too, poor guy had been picked on or pushed around most of his life up until now. Mr. House terrified him, but offered a comfort of protection he was desperate to chase. 

“You were born the son of an Enclave member Caddie, that doesn’t mean anything. I could be the son of a cannibal for all either of us know and it wouldn’t change a thing,”

There was something about a campfire under a full Mojave moon that just lulled the secrets out of a man. Maybe it was the calm of it all, hard not to relax on such a peaceful evening---especially with how stressful the days were. Impressed, relieved, surprised, all at once Arcade had kissed him. It hadn’t been their first time---although the scene hadn’t been too dissimilar.

But the kiss was different.

Same gentle honesty in how they moved, neither pressing, always inviting...yet when they broke and looked at each other...That was when Arcade knew. As a doctor he tried to think with his head first, although no man was without his passions. Get him talking about the Legion and before long he swears he’d be near incoherent. When he saw the men unrightfully crucified, the slaves, the sheer  _ carnage _ \----it was like his mind went shot. Just fists balled and a cramped pounding feeling desperate to break out of his chest cavity. Even though he had kissed, touched, and sucked the scrappy courier dozens of time before----he had never felt  _ this  _ before. Later he would consider panicking about it, when they had both laid together and were on their way back up the highway and the air was clear, Arcade wondered if he regretted feelings he didn’t control, if he wanted to think he should control them.

He didn’t. 

In such harsh environments it wasn’t odd for a man to feel compelled to repress his feelings, but that didn’t mean it was healthy. Sometimes the best things weren’t the healthiest things however….yet still….When Arcade found himself listing the pros and cons in his head it was almost out of compulsion more than any true concern. Tony had been good to him, and there were no signs that would change. The man wasn’t bad looking by any means, was happy enough to stay out of trouble, not to mention even-tempered. Tony had also really seemed to take a liking to Freeside and---

….maybe the feeling in his chest wasn’t so bad after all. At the campfire his hands quickly found their way to Tony’s, and it became apparent to the man just how nicely they fit together.  Even sitting he was still so tall that he could lean over the courier, encouraging Tony to lean in closer, the curves of their bodies slipping around each other, threatening to melt into one another.

If their late night pillow talk had raised Arcade’s suspicions, their next run in with a gang of raiders confirmed them. Bodies lay around the gas station, both men’s chests heaving. They were bruised. Badly. They’d be fine, but sore in the morning. Both men burned adrenaline like it was lighter fluid in a fight and as Arcade felt himself fade he braced himself for Tony’s inevitable reaction. He was betting at avoiding taking direct hits than Tony was---unafraid to use himself as a human shield (it would’ve been romantic if he hadn’t done the same damn thing for that dog). Yet instead of a flurry of questions---insistences Arcade take as many stimpacks as he wanted---he was met with a flurry of kisses. There had been but a moment of silence before Tony broke a laugh, the rush of their ‘accomplishment’ running over him. Not the laugh of a mad man, but a rare burst of celebration, of genuine pride and triumph.

Such decrees were rare as rain, but twice as sweet. Even if it was unexpected Arcade didn’t miss a beat, his partner’s behavior as always infectious. A chuckle echoed deep within Arcade’s chest as he caught Tony tumbling into him, his strong arms fitting just as nicely against his waist as their hands and bodies seemed to.

Tony’s affection, his laughter, their enjoyment of the moment----of being together to share these victories. When Tony curled into him at night, when he sang along with the dog, introducing them to nearly everyone they crossed paths with, his determination to catch 

Benny and prove----well, prove everything to himself he had more than proved already to Arcade.

So he’d go along with the hand-holding, and worrying, and friend-making, and job-taking, and hootin’ and hollerin’ and sarsaparilla drinking and junk stealing and love declaring--because that was the man he loved. That way Tony. That was courier 6.

When they returned to Freeside, Tony couldn’t have been happier. Benny had been dealt with but there was still more work to be done, loot to be pawned, supplies to buy. Arcade’s comment had seemed unexpected, but Tony went right along wit it. He knew Arcade was smarter than him, and he trusted him endlessly.

“Howdy, I’m Tony and this is my fiancé Arcade,”

He wondered if Arcade Gannon would prefer a spring wedding.


End file.
